Training in IIS-Berlin as a powerful therapy.

In the autumn of 2017, my problems with my son worsened, and I took him to a neurologist. It seemed to me that my son had started some transitional period, and that some pill might be able to help him, and at the same time me. A neurologist sent us to a psychologist, the psychologist offered family therapy. After a month of classes the work came to a standstill, then the psychologist advised me to look at my situation through a systemic constellation. In December I had the first constellation. Full-time, in Almaty. The constellation of my condition, partly removed fears, partly added them, but in general I went home in a terrible state, with an “open wound” and at home I instinctively, through bows and resolving phrases, “mended” myself.

I began to search. I don’t know what for; a good constellator, to complete the work, or a good instructor to learn from. All January I read everything on the Internet on the subject of constellations, watched videos, mostly the St. Petersburg Institute of Laor. Then I began to look at programs, call IXR, Laor, to see constellation works in Almaty. As a result I didn’t choose anything. In the mail, the IIS-Berlin Setup button flashed, and I thought that I was tired of searching, but I would press another button, and I swear it will be the last. Berlin was advertising webinars. I came to listen, I was busy in the kitchen, but when Natalia started talking, I realized that I had found, at last, my constellator. Without waiting for the end, without waiting for the second and third webinar, I wrote Natalia a Calm application for a consultation.

The consultation and first constellation took place before the beginning of the course, at the end of february. I had not even intended to attend. I had thought that one constellation would solve my problems. If not all, then enough for my life to get back on track. In any case, I was in no condition to decide on to study. I was in a very bad place.

My question was: what do i need to do to start living my life? I lived as if in another closed off world. I lost interest in my profession and did not know what to do moving forward. I very much wanted to find engaging work but couldn’t. Two years went by without work. I was already divorced by then and was practically raising our child alone. I had no interest in a relationship. It felt as if I was stuck in my previous marriage. There were also the problems with my son, his anxiety manifested as aggression. We had a rocky relationship.

The constellation was done online. It was filled with people who would become our future constellation group. Progress was difficult. After the constellation I did my homework. Natalie counts ongoing support into her usual fee and prepares many exercises to properly reinforce the results. I rewrote the constellation description 3 times. Then I spent 10 days filling out a table updating Natalie. In the table I wrote which phrases I tended to use, what i paid respect to and what changed in my life. I paid respect in the evenings and then managed to get some sleep at night. The homework took hours. Natalie would respond immediately and carefully read what i wrote, understood what I felt and pointed me forward with useful feedback. This was, practically speaking, a continuation of the constellation. Without this support from a competent constellator it would be impossible to rebuild your life.

I returned to my life; I started watching new movies, making new plans, getting new haircuts, meeting new people. The father of my child became involved in his life. My son started to spend more time with his peers, sharing things with me, play with me. So i decided to go to natalie’s courses to learn from her.

During a session one of our students created a constellation for herself on the topic “Why can’t I launch (into life)”. This topic affected me very strongly, I felt myself in the position of her mother. I felt how truely difficult it was for me to live. After a week I made another constellation on the topic “what do i need to do to make life better”. Meanwhile I was in communication with a financial coach and we ran into the same key problem, that I was having a hard time and i was long overdue for rest and relaxation.

One and a half months later, in the middle of April I had my second constellation. The request here was “living easier”.

The constellation was difficult, there were many difficulties in the system. But after it was done my subconscious began to find ways to make life easier and this lead me to speak to my ex husband.

During the next session we made a mini-constellation on the basis of my request, specifically on the topic of communicating with my ex husband. This topic affected me so much that I began to resist and I couldn’t understand a word I was hearing. Though in order to make life easier it was paramount to learn to share my difficulties and recieve help. This included, in part, from the father of my child.

During that same session we were given our first homework of the course – constellation coaching. We chose that same topic. It worked out so well that I was able to adjust and write to the father of my child that very evening about how much I needed his help with the child. Our talk went well. His help, his participation in raising and helping our son lightened all our lives.

During that same session we made a constellation for a third student on the topic of relationships. As a result of this constellation we found her unborn twins. Although i was standing in as the client i did not feel that this topic had anything to do with me. Only at the end of the session, when another participant told us about how her daughter was behaving i understood that my son was behaving the same way and that it was due to me and my twin. I decided to look into this. The topic of a catastrophe, someone’s death, a brother figure had already been present in my drawings before. I spent several days I spoke with my twin brother, spent time with him and then let him go.

I felt unbelievably better. Far better than I would have felt if I had just one or two constellations. Six different constellations, only two of which were mine, and one that repeated in the homework put me into working condition. My deepest respect for this. Each new constellation gives me the resources to make one more step forward. Learning in one of Natalia Spokoinyi’s groups is very powerful and effective. Including the resolution of personal problems for personal therapy.