I wish to share the results of systemic constellations work done because of my depression and suicidal thoughts.
I met Natalya by chance. Yet, as Anatole France said, “Chance is God’s pseudonym, when God does not want to sign his own name”. So, I am convinced that God sent me Natalya in one of the hardest moments of my life.
The absence of a desire to live was one of my problems. Depression and suicidal thoughts have haunted me since my adolescence. Now I am 29. The fits of depression struck me in the most difficult periods of my life. Now I am living through such a period. My life became totally unbearable a couple of weeks ago. I could not raise my head lying in bed, I kept thinking about death, and I was exhausted both physically and emotionally. I just wanted to stop living, and I wanted to lie dead under a heap of stones, so that not a single person knew where I was. I was thinking about dying in such a way that people would never ever find my body. My hand automatically drew a heap of stones.
Luckily, Natalya suggested doing systemic constellation. In the process of constellation, Natalya practically immediately traced my great-great-grandmother. She had a severe trauma of soul/heart; she did not want to live and suffered from depression. Out of my loyalty for the family, I bore the burden of my great-great-grandmother. When I bowed to her and said certain words, I felt better. When doing my homework, I felt warm and supported by great-great-grandmother. My thoughts of death disappeared, and I felt better physically. I no longer feel beaten and exhausted.